Tween Years:Hair scare and Makeup Mess

It seems like yesterday when Alaina was playing with dolls and admiring the Disney princesses.  Now she admires fashion icons like Niki Minaj and Lady Gaga.  Now that she has turned twelve, its fashion, hair, makeup and unfortunately boys. Ugh! Where did the time go?  I disagree often with many ideas she has about these topics but I often have to put myself in her shoes and think what was I doing back then. Cutting her long hair to her shoulders and wearing makeup are among a couple tween topics.  These are the top issues I have dealt with lately and have tried to the best of my ability to set appropriate guidelines.






I remember the first time I tried to wear makeup. What a mess! I didn't have a clue what I was doing I went based off of my friends and I probably looked ridiculous trying to walk out the door.  Thank God my mother pulled me back in the house and didn't let me go out that way.  Alaina tried to wear some base one day I quickly put an end to that. I simply told her she looked fine and that at this age she can wear simple things like lip gloss. I to this day do not wear alot of make up and the best thing I can do for her is to guide her to what is appropriate.  I know she is interested so I have shared with her lipglosses and about neutral colors that will enhance or polish a look.  I want her to understand that she can not leave the house looking like Bozo the clown and she is a beautiful girl naturally.

Then she decides to cut her beautiful long hair. Well she did ask and at first I screamed, No way!!  I thought about my hair and how I wished I had her hair and if I did I definitely would not cut it.  But it is not my hair.  After several weeks of her showing me different pictures of short cuts I finally decided, "Oh it is just hair it will grow back!" and in the back of my mind I thought I am gonna hate it!! Turns out she looks adorable!!  In addition, it swayed me to cut my hair short as well!!  However, It does not look as cute.

All in all, communication is the key. Finding what is best and appropriate at this age is definitely important in helping her try new things at this age and build some self confidence and self esteem about the way she looks.  As a mom, I am doing the best I can to have an open mind!!

Alaina; me? well i think that the wearing makeup thing defintely has its boundaries. natural is best for girls my age so moms, give in to your daughters that they CAN wear makeup but on YOUR terms. Also, ask yourself what YOU were doing at her age? maybe you were the same way?

plus, wanting my hair short? hey, it was an artistic decision!:D ive always wanted short hair but i knew it was gonnna take a while to talk my mom into it. after showing her a bunch of hairstyles we both agreed on one, and we both loved it. so, moms if your daughter wants to do something drastic like cut her hair or even color it, COMPROMISE. if she does want to color it, maybe agree and take her to the salon on her birthday or a holiday. help her choose the color(nearest to her natural hair color that you both like) its also a great bonding experience.

Big Sister?(Jeez!)

Alaina...Well, big sisterhood started on the 15th of  March, technically it started about 3 years ago since I have a younger step brother Joel, but you get the point. Two younger brothers, five year old Joel and now, the four month old Jarod. Well, lets just say it wasn't exactly how I had pictured it. Joel wasn't much of a problem. He was innocent(in a five year old type of way). Jarod was different. To sum up my first couple of weeks with him, well, I didn't get alot of sleep at night(but I got used to it). Its easy being a big sister then again its not. Its frustrating being in your room trying to relax then all of a sudden you've got people calling your name having to go back and forth getting things and never really getting to relax and just watch TV. I constantly blamed Jarod but I figured hes just a baby. How can I blame him?:-)

Leilani....I love being a big sister!!   However, I do understand where Alaina is coming from because I too had to take care of my baby brothers and sister (The Twins) and sometimes Roger when I was little.  I was ten when they were born and remember changing diapers,feedings and babysitting.  Although, they may have a slight difference of opinion and view of how I "took care" of them.  What I think is great is that Alaina is getting to experience what I did when I was young? She gets the chance to be a great role model for them and help them with things like homework, riding a bike and teaching them a new sport.  She also may pick on them a little bit ;).
I have a brother(Rudy) who is one year younger, another who is 8 years younger(Roger) and the twins who are 9 years younger than I am and we are very close. In addition, I am a younger sister to my step brother and sister Louis and Gina.  We also have been able to keep a good relationship especially as we got older. I have great memories growing up with all my brothers and sisters. 
Alaina and Jarod are ten years apart and I don't have to worry about them being too far apart in age and not having a close relationship because as a big sister I know that is not a factor.  Joel and Alaina are six years apart and get on each others nerves now and again but they get along and stick up for each other. I have a great relationship with my siblings(the twins) and Roger even though we have a big age difference.  Alaina is getting used to being a big sister everyday and we even fight to hold my baby boy Jarod sometimes.   I know that although she is older and gets a little frustrated at times with the attention I need to give baby brother and some of the things her little brother Joel does that Alaina will watch over and show as much love as she can to both of her little brothers as I did my brothers and sisters.;) 

MOVING UP

Leilani...Here it goes our very first blog.  One of the major things that happened  for us this year happened at the end of May.  Alaina completed her fifth grade year at the elementary school I teach at and is moving to middle school. I can't believe it!!  Time does fly.  In addition, I struggled with the decision of moving her from public to private school. Would it be the right thing to do? I am a public school teacher so I wondered and was weary if she would get what she needed in private school as far as academics go.  Of course. Alaina wanted to stay with her friends and go to the middle school they would be going to but her father(my ex- husband) and I decided that we would like her to attend St Peters Catholic School.  We both grew up going to public school but after meeting my new husband Joel who is a product of the private school system and his family I was definitely interested in sending my daughter to private school.  He and his sister both attended private school along with my sister in laws daughters.  I had heard so many benefits and also I felt it would be a great experience for my daughter. I have met many students and parents who have had many great things to say about the program and their input and how well their children liked it. After going back and forth with Alaina, taking her on a tour(which she was really excited about) and having her meet some of the girls through volleyball camp she finally realized how much she would like it and the many classes, including religion and programs she could join that would make her a well rounded individual.

 Alaina....Ok, now heres my point of view. I'll admit St.Peters did look pretty cool but with the new school came the problem of making friends and trust me I'm the shy type so I was never really good at that. And to make troubles worse I found out that all the girls who I played sports with that did go to that school moved away and weren't going to be there anymore. My mom eventually took me to St.Peters volleyball camp (to try and make friends she said) well it worked I ended up with 3 good friends who said they'd show me around. Thats when I started thinking "Hmm, what the heck? Maybe St.Peters won't be that bad. :-)